hi, salam

konnichiwa

ogenki desuka? minna-san~~

watashi wa genki desu yo~

to b blunt, I used to be in a relay when I was in secondary school,

form 2-5

woww.. look at that, that was long~

yeahhh,, it was good, it was sweet, 

how it started?

let me share....

Dear Mr. Syao ,

" when we first meet, you looked familiar . I watched you anytime I spotted you. I came to know your name . Nice and first time I've heard of that name . 

We began to get close . I asked you to be my friend. We exchange interests. You asked me to join your activities too. You asked for my number and asked me to arrive early , and I did. At that time, both of us arrived early and we talked a lot. 

I became close to your friends. Male. They likes to talk to me about comics and anime which is also my interest. The boys slowly come to fond of me. But, you showed no change, like you didn't care. 

Except for one day, you saw me and one other guy sitting facing each other at the same table. You looked at us showing a lil interest. You came to us and asked the guy to go away. Do you still remember this? I bet not.

My heart start to get hurt when a junior gossips you and one of my close friends. I covered myself and busy myself so you wouldn't notice the change I had in my impression. You came to me, comforted me, we're not even a couple but you did. You talked to me cheerfully. In silent, you sent away those juniors. 

My friends told you about my feeling toward you. Without me knowing it. Few days later, you didn't come to school. I felt uneasy since my friends told me about what they did behind my back. On our class party, you came. You treated me normally, took candids photos of me. 

By the end of the year, we contacted each other and told me, 'I like you the same way as you like me'. Even with that, I am unsure. Until one day, you told me, 'we're a couple, now, right?'

It was a sudden attack. And yes, I AM SURE, you know what you said.

People began on looking at us after that. We became closer. Well-known among the teachers since you're a best student and I'm active on curriculum. Even no one compares us, I hate it. Because I can clearly see the differences between us. Like sky, Like earth.

You did well in your studies and received good marks. I am so proud of you. Sometimes, I envied you. I felt left alone. I never get any jealousy toward you, Not even once. 

Somehow, I felt people compared us together. I felt uneasy and I hate it. You always comfort me. Asked me to think positive, no matter how hard I try. You said that you'll always be there for me. 

You hold a surprise birthday party which I think it was actually you friend's idea. You gave me presents. HOPES.

I honestly believe in you. At that time.

You began to get very busy studying after becoming the school's hope. Even so, you still came to see me at our usual meeting place. We talked alot. I love your eyes. I do. 

Until those days, fade away. Slowly. Those moments, disappeared. You never come. 

I understand , since you're busy. I know. 

Later, my friends who supported us asked me to break up with you. Since you showed no interest in me anymore. I wondered and agreed, after a long good thinking. Alone.

I decided to called off out relay after SPM result. 

On my birthday after SPM, you came. You gave me present. (I dont know where it went now)

Few days later, I heard from your friend, you told him that it's over between us. 

I contacted you and asked for the truth. You admitted it. I was really pissed off. But, I'm OKAY

At our SPM result, you talked to me. I was scared to talk to you at first but, everything went on as usual..

As friends "

Dear Mr. Syao, 

I was pretty shocked to know the news about your new girl

Her identity surprised me

But, yes, I moved on quite a while now. 

I am just surprised,,, to know that she's my replacement

I thinks she's better than me

insyaAllah

I move on , yes I did, I didnt involve in any new relay because I was afraid of perceptions and betrayal. I was afraid to fall

There's people that taken interest in me, but I dont

There;s someone that I've taken interest in but, he doesnt , thou he actually is

But nothing came from it

Now?

There's someone that I'm unsure of

Both of us are playing hard to get

I think both of us are scared, to be disappointed

To move to the next step

I am also, unsure

Whether we meant for each other or not

Dear God,

I'll leave everything in YOUR decision